Kissing In The Kitchen And Other Lessons For Life
One hundred years ago today, my granny (Pauline Facer) was born - the Spring Equinox, 21 March 1924. Today feels like a good day to tell you how my granny continues to influence the farm and my life.
A few years ago, I turned two of my crumbling, but beautiful, outbuildings into a new kitchen and event space for the farm. This is how Katie Stringer of Studio idir Architects imagined the kitchen back in 2019…
And this is what it looked like as work began!
I was able to go ahead with these works (and more importantly finish them!), due to some money that my granny left to me.
Granny (Pauline Facer) was an artist and a big influence on me. Many of you have commented on the fabulous paintings of hers I have all over the house when you've visited. Here are a few of her paintings…
My Granny died in December 2020 and, despite the pandemic, I was able to head back to England to attend her funeral. I was very glad I did. My big sister, Amy, did a brilliant reading at the funeral that I wanted to share. My Granny and Grandpa used to look after us in the school holidays and we've realised that a lot of what we do now, is because of Granny. She lived by an excellent set of (unwritten) rules that my sister managed to articulate beautifully…
Talk to your plants. Also talk to spiders who decide to live in your house. Everyone will feel happier. Granny named all of the spiders who moved in to her house ‘Charlie’.
Do crosswords. Granny used to do the cryptic ones, which remain unfathomable to us.
Start your day with a cup of tea (preferably in bed, and made by your husband or wife).
Go to bed early. Granny always used to tell us that the hours you sleep before midnight are worth double the ones after midnight. Based on absolutely no scientific evidence, Amy still believes this to be true.
Fill your house full of things which remind you of interesting places you’ve been or adventures you’ve had or people you love. Walls are important for holding your house together but primarily they are for hanging things on. The more the better.
Make things. Meals, paintings, drawings, quilts, treasure hunts for your grandchildren, clothes. Making things is just always an excellent plan. And when you make things…be ambitious!
When you are cooking for people, make at least three times the amount of food you actually need….and provide alcohol similarly.
Hold hands.
Dance. Granny and Grandpa used to dance the Charleston for us and we thought it was the coolest thing ever! Granny used to remember the steps to dances long after she knew anyone’s names. She loved music and she loved dancing.
Do whatever it is that you decide to do, to your best ability. No matter whether it’s a big thing or a small thing or if anyone else will even notice, don’t do anything halfheartedly. The more you put into a job or a project or an idea, the more that you will get out.
Kiss your husband or wife in the kitchen. Even when you’re very old.
Earrings are always a good idea.
Write thank you letters.
Wear what you want and don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. Granny used to ask that, if all her hair fell out, would Amy promise to tattoo flowers all over her bald head? When my friends’ grannies were wearing beige, Pauline had big gold earrings, multi-coloured patterned skirts, shirts and so many beads. My sister has fully embraced this attitude to fashion.
Go for a walk every day.
Be polite. Say please and thank you. The most important people to be polite to are the people you see every day…. like your family.
Be generous in everything you do.
We miss Granny every day. Grandpa will be super relieved to have his dance partner back though… they’ll be Charlestoning about somewhere, drinking rum and orange juice and kissing in the kitchen.
Do you have a set of unwritten rules to live your life by? I’d love to hear them one day.
Love Jo
Granny and Grandpa in 2000